A world where family stories often fade after a generation, a local woman is ensuring her mother’s extraordinary legacy is captured not just in memory, but in print. For Rory Kilkenny Parnell, the project is more than publishing a book; it’s a gift of love to her 95-year-old mother, Marie Phillips Kilkenny, and a timeless heirloom for their close-knit family.
The book, titled Four in a Tub, is the heartfelt memoir of Marie Phillips Kilkenny, who began writing down her life stories in the 1980s. What started as a hobby in a writing club evolved into a full-length manuscript, a raw and poignant account of growing up as the 15th of 20 children in a devout Irish-Catholic family in Brooklyn and Queens, New York.
The title itself comes from a practical reality of her childhood. “When you have to get 20 kids cleaned, you have to do four at a time in the bathtub,” Rory explains with a laugh. “That simple phrase just sums up the entire experience.”
The memoir is a journey through the laughter and tears of a large family. It begins with a portrait of a vibrant, loving home, where Marie’s parents, Bernard and Henrietta, built a life grounded in their faith. Tragedy struck when Henrietta died in childbirth with her 20th child, a loss that shattered the family structure.
“When I read it, I learned so much, and I cried, and I laughed,” Rory shares from her home in Michigan. “I understood a lot more than I had. I’m 76 years old, and so it just was a newness for me in terms of understanding her, understanding my aunts and appreciating them for what they did.”
The heart of the story lies in the resilience of the older siblings, who stepped up to raise the younger ones. The book details their struggles with poverty, constant moves between Brooklyn and Queens, and the complex figure of their grieving father, who mentally checked out under the immense pressure. Through it all, the bonds of sisterhood and brotherhood held the family together, ensuring the children were fed, clean, and received their religious sacraments.
For Rory, her mother’s manuscript was a revelation. “I just wish everybody could have this,” she says. “It speaks to who you become and who you are.” She recalls her mother as a fiercely determined woman whose positive attitude and refusal to take “no” for an answer left a lasting impression. One story involves a pregnant Marie in 1948 being told she could no longer work at her beloved insurance job. Her response was to challenge her boss, arguing that if pregnancy made her unfit to work, she must be considered disabled, a bold stance for a woman of that era.
“One of the biggest things I learned from her is to don’t hesitate and follow your dream and don’t take no for an answer,” Rory states.
When asked where her mother found the strength for such resilience, Rory points to her deep faith. “She would say that her religion has played a huge role in her life… It comes with compassion and love for others and just getting a lot out of giving.”
Now, Rory’s primary goal is to see the book beautifully published and placed in her mother’s hands. “It’s extremely rewarding. It’s probably the best gift that I could give her,” Rory says, her voice filled with emotion. “To live to 95 is an amazing thing… To be able to give her the book and have her proud of what she wrote, I think that’s the most that I can expect.”
Beyond the immediate family, “Four in a Tub” serves as a powerful testament to the enduring strength of family ties, the importance of faith, and the courage to carry on through life’s most difficult challenges. It’s a story that, while rooted in the past, offers timeless lessons of love and resilience for generations to come, right here in Michigan and beyond.
About the Author
Marie Phillips Kilkenny was born in Brooklyn in 1930. One of twenty children, she later became the mother of six and the matriarch of an extended family spanning four generations. Her memoir Four in a Tub chronicles a century of faith, family, and perseverance, preserving a legacy of unity for her descendants and for readers seeking meaning in the ordinary grace of everyday life.
