You simply offered a really low supply, and one of many sellers goes ballistic. How do you reply: “Fight, flight or freeze?”
Actual property brokers right this moment are consistently bombarded by high-pressure eventualities that may ship their physique into overdrive, flooding it with the stress hormones epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine and cortisol.
Examples embody:
Getting caught in visitors while you’re working late for an necessary itemizing presentation.
The client’s deal falls by way of resulting from an sudden tax lien being positioned on the property, their lease is up they usually have nowhere to dwell.
Your vendor calls you in a rage as a result of the client’s agent confirmed the home and forgot to lock the entrance door.
Struggle, flight or freeze?
Physiologist Walter Cannon described the “fight or flight” response in 1932. Once you understand a risk like a screaming vendor, your struggle or flight response kicks in. This causes your physique to launch epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine into your bloodstream, your coronary heart fee and blood stress enhance, your pupils dilate, and your veins transfer away out of your pores and skin to reduce blood loss in case you might be injured.
What most individuals don’t focus on is a 3rd response known as “freeze.” That is typically described as “the deer in the headlights.” A standard instance amongst kids is after they’re actually scared at night time, they’ll “freeze” in place within the hope that no matter is scaring them will go away.
I bear in mind going into freeze mode once we have been at considered one of my purchasers and I have been strolling down the steps to deal with for a exhibiting. Curled up proper by the entrance door was a giant rattlesnake. I simply stood there gazing that large fats snake.
Just a few moments later, one other couple and their son completed their exhibiting. As they have been leaving, the little boy turned to his dad and mom and mentioned, “Hey look — a rattlesnake! Cool!”
Evidently, my consumer and I made a decision to skip the exhibiting and go on to the subsequent one.
Struggle, flight or freeze when negotiating
At present, brokers are consistently bombarded with struggle, flight or freeze conditions. Examples embody being caught in visitors while you’re already late for an appointment, studying that an actual property transaction isn’t going to shut on time and that your patrons can be out on the road with no place to dwell, or receiving an irate name from a vendor who discovered their home was left open after a exhibiting.
Until you might be unusually calm and centered, every of those conditions can set off the cascade of struggle, flight or freeze responses in your physique.
As an instance how this works while you’re negotiating, let’s return to the instance of presenting a low supply the place the vendor goes ballistic.
Right here’s how the struggle, flight or freeze reactions would possibly play out in every of those eventualities:
Struggle
Grow to be offended, confront the vendor, and inform him his itemizing is horribly overpriced.
The problem with this strategy is that while you change into offended, you solely escalate the scenario. As Expensive Abby as soon as mentioned, “The next time you feel like fighting fire with fire, remember that the fire department uses water.”
A greater struggle strategy can be to keep away from this case by anticipating the vendor’s struggle response and taking steps to avert it.
A wonderful means to do that is to clarify to the vendor:
“My buyers have elected to write an offer that is substantially under your asking price. About 50 percent of the time these initial low offers turn into a closed transaction. I would like to request that you go through the offer, see what terms are agreeable, and then give me a counteroffer to see if this offer will be one of the 50 percent that will close. Does that work for you?”
Flight
If the vendor begins screaming, one response is to face up and depart the room.
A more practical strategy can be to say:
“Mr. Seller, would you please speak softly to me so I can understand what you are saying.”
If the vendor continues his rant, repeat your request:
“Mr. Seller, would you please speak softly to me so I can understand what you are saying; otherwise, I will have to leave.”
If this doesn’t work, arise and excuse your self by saying:
“I’m leaving now. Please contact me if you have any interest in pursuing this offer.”
Freeze
When most brokers discover themselves in a scenario the place a vendor is screaming at them, they go into freeze mode. The response is so sudden that they merely sit there and do nothing.
There is no such thing as a motive that you just or every other agent ought to must tolerate abusive remedy from a consumer. Whereas the vendor feels nice about unloading, you now change into the one who’s risking a stress-related sickness. All the time bear in mind, you’ll be able to stroll away.
Keep away from stress-related diseases
Actual property could be confrontational, and long-term stress places you at larger threat for coronary heart illness, hypertension and even most cancers. If you’re unable to keep away from a stress-provoking scenario, take steps to launch your anger while you get dwelling.
Bodily launch
Train is a strong option to rid your physique of adrenaline. Alternatively, releasing frustration by pounding a pillow or practising deep respiration will help you reset.
Psychological calm
In worrying negotiations, let go of being “right” and deal with energetic listening. Asking questions and taking notes permits the opposite celebration to really feel heard and reduces their anger whereas additionally minimizing the struggle, flight, or freeze response and your personal stress response.
In high-pressure conditions, mastering your struggle, flight or freeze response could be the distinction between an offended consumer or a closed transaction. Finally, holding your cool helps you shut extra offers whereas concurrently defending your well being and well-being.
Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateCoach.com, and the founding father of RealEstateWealthForWomen.com is a nationwide speaker, creator and coach with over 1,500 revealed articles.
