As a substitute of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you totally different.
Flip up the amount in your actual property success at Inman On Tour: Nashville! Join with trade trailblazers and top-tier audio system to achieve highly effective insights, cutting-edge methods, and invaluable connections. Elevate what you are promoting and obtain your boldest objectives — all with Music Metropolis magic. Register now.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however completely satisfied as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of home made pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took a protracted, sunny stroll. Each job on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to calm down.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Immediately, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A research from MIT discovered that our brains course of photographs in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable entice of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability idea revealed our pure urge to judge ourselves towards others. In actual property — an trade constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two kinds of social comparability:
Upward comparability: Taking a look at these forward of us for inspiration.
Downward comparability: Taking a look at these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself towards the most effective and brightest. Generally, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However at the moment’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, typically distorting actuality and turning what might be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish aspect of social comparability
Social media provides us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embrace:
Low shallowness
Nervousness and melancholy
Envy and resentment
Emotions of inadequacy
Physique-image points
Social isolation
Even when you’re not an enormous scroller, societal stress is in every single place. So how can we preserve comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Apply the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually wish to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause might help you make a aware selection somewhat than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is vital. Monitor how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The objective isn’t to remove social media however to regulate its influence in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a shopper
I put up nearly every day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me interact with out being sucked into the comparability entice.
4. Apply gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three belongings you’re grateful for every day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you’ve got.
5. Set objectives, and rejoice wins
Clear, life like objectives preserve you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and every day objectives, preserving a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And after I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an trade the place success is usually outlined by numbers, it’s simple to get caught up as compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The great thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As a substitute of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you totally different. Elevate others up. Have fun your wins. And bear in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
Pam Blair is the broker-owner of YogaBug Actual Property in Portland, Oregon. Join together with her on Instagram or LinkedIn.
