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Michigan Post > Blog > Business > ‘I earned six-figures – however was left and not using a penny to flee husband who was able to kill me’
Business

‘I earned six-figures – however was left and not using a penny to flee husband who was able to kill me’

By Editorial Board Published July 28, 2025 7 Min Read
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‘I earned six-figures – however was left and not using a penny to flee husband who was able to kill me’

Amy* knew her husband might kill her – he made positive of that.

She’d identified for 25 years of violence and sexual abuse, however when a health care provider warned her youngsters have been in peril, she was lastly prepared to go away.

But Amy, as soon as the director of a big firm incomes six figures, had no cash. He’d made positive of that, too.

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“What he did financially was to make sure that I became powerless,” says Amy.

“I was totally beholden to him.”

Amy is one among probably tens of millions of victims, primarily girls, who’ve skilled financial abuse – when somebody restricts or exploits their accomplice’s entry to cash and sources like meals, clothes and transportation.

A survey of three,000 girls by charity Surviving Financial Abuse (SEA) discovered 15% had been impacted within the 12 months to November 2024, which might be equal to 4.1 million throughout the UK.

Keir Starmer has referred to as it a “national emergency” as the federal government gears as much as announce a brand new Violence Towards Ladies and Women (VAWG) technique inside the subsequent few weeks.

Its purpose is to halve violence in opposition to girls and ladies in a decade, after the final VAWG technique initiated by the Conservatives in 2021 made “little progress”, in response to the Nationwide Audit Workplace.

SEA, which advocates for individuals like Amy, has watched on as successive governments have didn’t deal with the problem regardless of launching technique after technique.

It’s hoping this time is completely different and that financial abuse is a key focus for the federal government.

“It’s the only way to help survivors and their children escape and safely rebuild their lives,” says chief government Sam Smethers.

“To break the cycle of domestic abuse once and for all, the government must put tackling economic abuse at the heart of its strategy.”

Most perpetrators don’t economically abuse in isolation, combining it with bodily, emotional and sexual abuse.

Some 56% of girls who skilled financial abuse from a present or ex-partner additionally confronted different abusive behaviour.

‘He was terrifying – and greater than able to killing me’

Amy was making an attempt to interrupt a cycle of escalating bullying, violence and sexual assault.

“He had become so confident that he could act with impunity,” she says.

“He was saying to me, ‘I’m really comfortable with the idea of your death now. I think when you die it will be in a car crash’.”

She continues: “He was terrifying. He meant it. And I know he meant it because he’d done a number of things in the marriage where I nearly died at his hands.

“So I do know he was greater than able to killing me.”

Almost a quarter (23%) of victims of economic abuse say it prevented them from leaving the relationship, according to SEA.

‘It’s all about the control’

When Amy first met her ex-husband at work in the mid-90s, he “appeared like a standard bloke”.

After the pair married a year later and had children, he encouraged her to leave her job, move to a new, socially isolated area and become a stay-at-home mum.

“It was way more refined and far cleverer than demanding to see payments,” she says.

As soon as the only earner, he stored the household accounts personal, giving Amy a month-to-month allowance with which she was anticipated to pay all of the family payments bar the mortgage, which he stored in his identify.

He monitored her meals to make sure she ate cheaper manufacturers than him and managed the garments she purchased to the purpose she had no outfits appropriate for something apart from the college run.

“It’s all about control,” says Amy.

“It’s like a drug. He needs a supply of control to keep him going. The more control he has, the better he feels about himself. He uses money as a control tool.”

‘Nationwide emergency’

It did not cease with the tip of the connection.

Amy says he drained her funds by prolonging divorce proceedings and elevating a courtroom dispute.

He inconsistently paid upkeep funds she relied on to take care of their youngsters, for whom she had full custody. He supplied them cash to make contact.

“It’s more than just economic control – it’s a weapon used by abusers to trap victims/survivors, leaving them powerless, drowning in debt and often forced to choose between staying trapped with a dangerous abuser or destitution,” says SEA’s Smethers.

“This national emergency demands action.”

“No woman should ever be trapped in an abusive relationship because of the suffering they will face if they try to leave, whether that is the threat of physical violence or the prospect of being plunged into poverty and homelessness.”

Phillips mentioned the federal government had allotted £160m for native authorities to provide victims secure lodging and entry to social housing with out having to show an area connection to an space.

“We have also continued to fund Surviving Economic Abuse, to raise awareness of this devastating crime, and support its many victims,” she added.

“We will set out more detail in our upcoming strategy.”

‘I earned six-figures – however was left and not using a penny to flee husband who was able to kill me’

Picture:
Jess Phillips chatting with Sky Information this month

You will discover out how one can recognise the indicators of home abuse and the place to get assistance on the NHS web site right here.

*Amy is a pseudonym

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