Final 12 months, Hi there Labs and CoinMarketCap launched into a brand new calling: actuality tv. Protos reviewed the primary season of Killer Whales, and whereas we had been largely unimpressed, it’s onerous to think about we’d miss out on watching each episode of the second season.
When Killer Whales premiered in Could on Google Play and Apple TV, few, if any, media shops had been made conscious.
Fortuitously, whereas anybody eager on watching can now see episodes one via 4 at no cost on YouTube, Protos has as soon as once more determined to wade via the complete sequence pre-full, free public launch so that you don’t should.
Lazy sequence however at the very least nothing necessary occurs
It’s onerous to explain simply how little occurred over the course of 5 episodes.
I can, nonetheless, inform you a few handful of unusual, pointless selections that the manufacturing groups made.
As an illustration, the primary episode incorporates a co-hosting duo: the annoying and personality-less ThreadGuy and the Andrew Tate fart-sniffing Aiden Ross.
Ross’s time is lower quick, and after the primary couple of minutes of episode one, he by no means seems once more.
However why function a Trump-loving, Dubai-residing, degenerate loser for 3 minutes of a 5 episode sequence? That’s left so that you can resolve.
The remainder of the present is a by no means ending parade of unlovable deadbeat judges, from no-name crypto trade execs to crypto influencers with extra bot followers than actual individuals.
You may be assured it’s a very terrible group of judges when the very best profile amongst them is former Trump appointee Anthony Scaramucci, who, together with the equally irritating Mario Nawfal, appears to get essentially the most display screen time.
The set is affordable, the writing is bland and corny, and the power to distinguish one silly undertaking from one other is unimaginable.
Shark Tank, however we don’t need to get sued
The creators of Killer Whales would have you ever consider this present is just like Shark Tank — not precisely excessive forehead TV viewing, however a enjoyable, undemanding watch — however that’s not the case.
It’s onerous to explain any of the sharks on Shark Tank as likeable, nevertheless it’s honest to say they’re placing one thing on the road for the initiatives they assist, albeit minimally: cash, time, and vitality.
Nevertheless, it’s unclear to me, even after hours of time spent watching this atrocity, what any undertaking truly wins. They point out the truth that the present is “giving away $1.5 million in prizes,” together with “an accelerator program from the legendary CoinMarketCap.”
Precisely what this CoinMarketCap accelerator program is and the way it’s valued is left so that you can resolve.
No different prizes had been ever talked about, however even when each undertaking that received a sure from the judges was to obtain any equal lower of an all-cash prize pool, it will quantity to little greater than a pair hundred hundreds {dollars}.
That is pennies within the tip jar for these initiatives, lots of which have already raised thousands and thousands in enterprise capital.
By taking away stakes for judges and never bothering to say what any of those initiatives are enjoying for, Killer Whales has seemingly already failed the primary rule of storytelling: have a starting, center, and finish.
Highlights (don’t fear, it’s only some)
If you happen to haven’t watched YouTuber Atrioc streaming the primary episode, it’s very humorous (notably when a undertaking suggests it would usher sooner or later with 3D NFTs).
The primary episode additionally incorporates a bagholder in a cybertruck shilling a memecoin (this “project” by some means will get funded), whereas in episode three, the gang unintentionally funds a sniping bot on Solana.
Within the season finale (not but out there at no cost on YouTube), TransHuman Coin — one of many few initiatives that’s seen a rise in its token worth for the reason that present was launched in Could — described itself like so:
“Our mission at Transhuman Coin is to push the capabilities of humanity, so we don’t accept death and disease as given. TransHuman Coin is the official token of the TransHuman Movement.”
It’s clear that there isn’t a lot of an viewers for this watered down, cryptofied model of Shark Tank: views for episode considered one of season two had been almost 25,000, but views for episode 4 solely quantity within the lots of.
How did the whales fare?
Beneath is an inventory of featured initiatives the place public knowledge reveals whether or not they have gone up or down in worth for the reason that launch of the present in Could:
Karate Fight: down 52%
Brett on Primarily based: down 60%
WAGMI Video games: down 93%
Elixir Video games: down 72%
Bitscrunch: down 56%
Galileo Protocol: down 37%
Carv: down 56%
Paw: down 60%
Birb: up 6.7%
TransHuman Coin: up 15%
The one two initiatives which are up since Could weren’t funded by the whales.
Dumb, dangerous idea, considerably dumber and worse present
There’s no downside with the idea of Killer Whales simply because it revolves round cryptocurrency, quite the truth that a lot of the initiatives featured aren’t companies or ventures however virtually solely memecoins and weird rugpulls.
The unlucky actuality for is that it’s a poorly thought out and boring present.
Nobody is aware of what anyone receives for profitable, the foundations aren’t absolutely defined, and there’s no construct up over the course of 5 episodes.
It feels as if the creators simply took the worst components of Shark Tank and essentially the most mundane rubbish from The Apprentice and mixed them to make a merely horrible actuality tv present that nobody with a purposeful mind would take the time to observe.
However hey, that’s why I’m right here.
