The most recent cringe-inducing crypto story to be plastered throughout mainstream media is {that a} group of grown kids calling themselves buyers have been throwing inexperienced dildos onto WNBA courts to attempt to meme their option to relevance.
This fashion of crypto-bro enthusiasm isn’t new, after all: since Dogecoin was created in 2013 there’s been some degree of virality to most tokens and cash being spun up and spit out.
However the cowardice, malice, and pathetic infantile humor at present on show plumbs beforehand unseen depths of depressing incel (involuntary celibate) habits.
I used to really feel a way of satisfaction masking crypto; uncovering scams, calling out fraudsters, criticizing the worst offenders, discussing disappearing trade homeowners, and interviewing Sam Bankman-Fried.
Now, nevertheless, the trade seems to consist virtually solely of scams, fraudsters, losers, and criminals.
There are nonetheless arguments to be made for the usefulness of many cryptocurrency tokens: privateness cash like Monero and pseudo-private cash with excessive quantity that may be combined like bitcoin (BTC) and ether (ETH) can be utilized by dissidents, journalists, and others who’re being unfairly persecuted.
There’s additionally the idea that hypothesis, even when not at all times vital or helpful, can also be an affordable and tangible use case for cryptocurrencies.
Nevertheless, I now discover it not simply troublesome, however disheartening and miserable, to see people attempting to justify tens of millions of utterly ineffective tokens in an increasing number of deplorable methods.
No, your inexperienced dildo token wasn’t supposed as a commentary on the state of crypto, as you falsely claimed.
No, you aren’t sturdy supporters of the WNBA, attempting to deliver constructive consideration to the game.
You’re liars, you’re cowards, and in a number of weeks, when nobody offers a shit about your coin or your pitiful antics, you gained’t be remembered in any respect — and that’s the absolute best consequence.
In a extra simply world, the scumbags you’ve employed or incentivized to throw intercourse toys at WNBA gamers can be tried in a court docket of legislation for felony mischief. My fingers stay crossed that this happens.
Polymarket and the brand new ‘innovations’ crypto has wrought
Sadly, it’s not solely the progenitors of the inexperienced dildo token who’ve tried to capitalize on being infantile douchebags: betting markets have been opened on Polymarket to find out if and when the subsequent dildo will probably be hurled onto a WNBA court docket — and tons of of 1000’s of {dollars} are being wagered.
These are hardly betting markets at this level, being extra harking back to when Polymarket was playing on if and when the Southern California fires would attain Santa Monica.
These aren’t folks making easy bets, they’re incentivizing felony habits and are much more harking back to assassination markets than casinos.
That is the present state of crypto. The most important followers and customers aren’t attempting to innovate or provide you with transformative use circumstances; they’re kids hurling intercourse toys at people who find themselves attempting to do their jobs as skilled athletes.
It isn’t humorous, it isn’t fascinating, and it most undoubtedly isn’t helpful.
Incels are unhealthy, financially incentivized incels are worse
The flexibility for these incels to each earn an earnings and propagate their horrifying message is alarming.
Certainly, persons are laughing and egging on straight up sexual harassment, pretending that it’s acceptable. It isn’t.
And offering these people with cash and a bullhorn for the message that ladies — from skilled athletes to remain at residence mothers — are there to be laughed at, made enjoyable of, harassed, and ridiculed will solely result in worse, extra threatening habits from an increasing number of unstable males.
On a private word
I wish to personally inform the creators and purchasers of the inexperienced dildo token and the disgusting instance of human trash who calls himself their spokesman:
Congratulations, you don’t have anything to supply humanity and society, all the world can be higher off should you stopped being “creative” and picked up trash on seashores for the remainder of your nugatory lives as an alternative.
I do know this gained’t cease you, however someday I hope your moms and sisters and daughters discover out the kind of males you’re and deal with you the way in which you deserve: to by no means interact with you in any method, form, or kind once more.
